I'm not on Chemo, I'm the Cutting-Edge of Fashion

Hey Guys,

So my eyelashes have been thinning a bit, but the fantastic people at Dior have been keeping that pretty much unnoticeable (best mascara EVER). My eyebrows seem basically intact, but just in case they end up falling out, I wanted to point you all in this direction. If/when they come out, I'm on the cutting edge of the makeup trends. The "no-eyebrow" look is apparently all over the runways and print ads - Givenchy, Balenciaga, and Prada all featured eyebrow-less models for the Fall 2009 shows. Woohoo!

Also, I generally love to watch Bravo - Real Housewives, Top Chef, The Fashion Show - I love them all. However, I'm severely disappointed by NYC Prep and Miami Social. And they're on all the time! (sorry, just turned on the TV and Miami Social was on. They're driving me crazy. I should turn the channel...)

In a "side-effects update," so far I've been feeling pretty awesome today (knock on wood). I only had to take one kytril for nausea this morning (more of a precaution than anything else), but I'll probably be able to rely on zofran for the rest of the day. The kytril's really expensive and hard to get from the insurance company, so I need to stock it up for next week's treatment.

Finally, any advice about scarves? I've got a TON of beautiful silk scarves (lots of them hand-dyed) that people have given me or that I bought at Summerfair in anticipation of being bald. Since it's so hot, I haven't been wearing them on my head, but would love some more suggestions. Claire sent me a twitter link to tying headscarves, but I'd also love some advice about tying some of the bigger ones into skirts, shirts, or dresses... share the love, my fashionable friends!

Lots of Love,

Lauren

ps what do you think of the new purple theme? I just found out the "Purple Ribbon" is for Hodgkin's, so I thought I'd change up the page colors a little bit to represent that :-)

...more insomnia...

Hey Guys,

So I've been really partaking in all of my favorite "forbidden" foods this week. One unfortunate side effect of this is that my body isn't used to caffeine anymore, and the cup of kona I had at 5pm is still keeping me buzzed 8.5 hours later. What a bummer.

My grandparents (on my Dad's side) are in from Montpelier (near Toledo) for the weekend, and it's always fun to see them, especially since we don't get to often. My grandma brings delicious treats, and I was soooo excited that she brough my favorite pecan tarts - bite sized pecan pies that are incredibly delicious and addicting.

I started watching Angels in America tonight with William - I'd never seen it before, but it's AMAZING. I love Mary Louise Parker in Weeds, but this is making me love her even more. One question though - what's with her and the drug theme?? We got through the first segment tonight, and (I can't believe I'm saying this but...) I can't wait for my treatment on Monday, because he's going to bring another segment or two with him and I'm itching to see what happens next.

Also, everytime I get in the shower or take my makeup off, I'm expecting my eyebrows and eyelashes to go (so far, so good...). In preparation for my eyelashes falling out, I've been doing a little research at sephora.com to try and find some nice falsies I can use as a replacement. I really like the extreme variety offered by Make Up For Ever... especially the super crazy ones. Let me know what you guys think - if you all like anything in particular, it might help me make a decision when the time comes.

Lots of Love,

Lauren

ps maybe I could take some makeup advice from Boy George now that I'm bald...

Stars Without Their Makeup

Hey Guys,

So I've been getting a lot "Wow! You look FANTASTIC!" comments from people when I see them, especially if it's been awhile and they haven't seen me since before I was diagnosed. I think people mostly assume that I'm going to look all pale and sickly (well, I'm always pale...) but I've made a vow that no matter how bad I'm feeling, if I have to go out somewhere, I'm putting on makeup. There is absolutely no way I ever want strangers (or friends, for that matter) to ever think "Wow, that girl looks like she has cancer!" I even put on makeup to go to the hospital to get chemo! Thats really the same reason why I refuse to wear a bandana or a head scarf when I go out - I feel like wearing something like that makes me look more cancery - if I walk around bald, I feel like people are more inclined to think that I'm bald on purpose since I'm not trying to hide it.

Anyway, I'm offering you all a rare treat - a glimpse of me without all of the makeup I wear on a daily basis (much more now than ever before!)

With Makeup (smiling!)

Without Makeup (YIKES!)

You can't see them as well in this picture because of the giant flash, but in recent weeks I've developed some extremely attractive chemo circles under my eyes - I've started to look like the losing end of a fist fight.

I'd like to thank Sephora, Clinique, and Laura Mercier for their part in keeping me lookin' good (as well as significantly shrinking the size of my wallet)

In other news, I've had a couple of weird side effects sneak up on me the past couple of days. I'd been hearing ever since the beginning that dry skin would be a big problem. I'd been feeling pretty triumphant about the fact that I'd somehow escaped this, but starting yesterday, I've been feeling it. The skin on my arms and legs is peeling and tight - I kind of feel like one giant piece of dandruff or something. My mom got me some amazing moisturizing body wash and extra-thick lemon scented balm from Bigelow's, and I've been slathering it on, but it's effects are short-lived. Hopefully drinking massive amounts of water will help.

Also, I've been feeling the nerve effects of the Vincristine (which, annoyingly, are always delayed - I'd rather feel crappy all at one time). My calves are all tingly and burny feeling just under the skin - at first I thought it was from the dry skin, but it's definitely not on the surface, it feels like the nerves are all over-firing. I took one of my oxycondone pills (which are meant specifically for neurological pain), but all it did was make me groggy enough to run into my bedroom wall when I got up to go to the bathroom. Hopefully they'll be less tingly while I'm driving to Cleveland tomorrow, because pain meds + 4 hour drive = disaster.

Finally, enjoy this picture of Winnie I found when I was cleaning out the memory card on my camera. She looks like a little lion.

Lots of Love,

Lauren